As my love for Christ grew stronger, I began to feel more confident as a mother, a teacher, an artist, and as a supporter of my community. Consequently, I also discovered that this agitated certain people that I couldn't avoid. Why are they so angry? For years I've been supportive of their accomplishments, why are they unable to do the same for me? What have I done to them to make them feel such bitterness toward me? All I ever heard was "that girl is so lucky." Do I not deserve to be happy? I understood that jealousy and fear were present and that sometimes it could be quite difficult to control.
By now it was clear to me that even the women I once considered dear friends had become bitter and hostile toward me and my family. "While I was at work trying to please everyone around me, others were busy plotting their next move."
I never thought I'd see the day where I would deny God's precious commandment, "Love one another as I have loved you," as quoted in John 13: 34-35. We all know it is easier to love those who we like. But it is God's will that we love everyone. The poor, the rich, and all who are considered less than desirable. For me, this was becoming my greatest challenge.
When I finally reached the point where I just couldn't bare the pain in my heart any longer, I'd think of the words my mother would say-- First, "They're only people." and secondly, "The key to starting over is to start over slowly." Whenever I'd hear these words, I began to pull myself up.
We as people will always be sinners, we were not meant to take the identity of Jesus to its literal state of being, yet we are to work with what we were given and make the best of it. By 2010, I'd met some really unusual people; there names' were Jealousy, Despair, Desperation, Anger, Pain, Sorrow, Misery, Greed, Gluttony, Vanity, and let's not forget Denial." ................ I'd come to know "Lies, Deceit, and Abandonment quite well."
What I have to say to everyone is this: I still have love, hope, contentment, eagerness, desire, passion, intellect, wisdom, and the ability to communicate, share, and remain loyal to those who are in need of my guidance and appreciate me as a human being. Nothing could change who I am. Moreover, I remain organized in my thoughts, have learned to pray quite well, so that I could stay on track and move passed this treacherous storm. I will not stop because there are plenty of good people around who are willing to give me the recognition and the respect I deserve. There is no turning back for me now!
Several weeks ago, I sat in my director's office with my director and my supervisor. First, let me say that our new director is a man at work, making things happen for the good of the students, the teachers, and the school as a whole. He has new philosophies and ideologies that are essential in order to develop a good, solid, and sound foundation in education. My supervisor, who I know for eleven years now, has been fighting my battles all along. I said to the two of them, "without you I have no one in this building to protect me," and then I looked up at my supervisor and asked, "have I lost you?" and she replied, "No." I was very thankful for this response.
From that point on I began to open my eyes to others who expressed just enough for me to bounce back. I felt it was not to late to start fresh and that Hope and Faith were still with me. I have met several people in my building I hadn't noticed in a long time; their names are The Protector, Kindness, Diligence, Courteous, and Flexible. You do the math. There are more people who are willing to help out in my time of need. There are those who greet me each morning, there are those who have expressed adoration, by simply offering a smile, or by saying please, thank you, cheers, or make a great day!
God's Plan -- My Epilogue -- The Final Chapter to be continued...............
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